I have always been a conscientious and introverted person. As such, I have had difficulties throughout my entire life saying “no” to people and pivoting out of roles when I no longer find them interesting, or they’ve become stagnant. Also, people tend to take advantage of my personality by guilting me into staying in positions I have clearly stated I want to resign.
The most exhausting part is when you mention you are ready to transition. People tend not to listen or ask questions about your next steps or discuss ways for you to be involved at another level. Instead, they start naming the opportunity lost from you, stepping away rather than thinking about you and your needs, and the chance to bring in new voices or perspectives to the table.
My physical health has suffered due to me saying yes to people and feeling stuck. I have realized I can no longer take on the physical and emotional tax each added role does to my body. Also, there tends to be a financial burden added to each position as you get older.
I have been praying for direction on how to pivot or take a sabbatical from the current roles that I am in because burnout is setting in. I don’t want to wake up one morning and walk away from everything that I care about and have worked so hard to achieve because I did not take the time to rest.
So, I have started prioritizing the list of projects and community engagement activities that I care about, developing a transition plan, and informing partners of my plan. Whether or not they decide to listen, I will be executing my plan.
I have been working to put myself first by:
- Taking mental health days to rest when my body is fatigued and staying active.
- Not responding to messages or requests until I have had time to pray and reflect to decide if it is something I truly want to do and can actively participate in without impacting my health.
- Drinking water because staying hydrated help.
- Scheduling bi-weekly/monthly massages to help my mobility.
- Taking yoga classes to help with my breathing.
I have been learning to be an advocate for myself, for God did not give me a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. I can say no when I need to say no, and rest when I need to rest without asking for others’ permission and create opportunities for others to step up and lead. It has been difficult because, at times, I stand in my way–conscientious person and all– but it is a work in progress, and I thank God for his guidance.
Leave a note if you are struggling to say no, or what you are doing in your journey of self-care.