Sometimes the greatest distance we travel is between what we imagine and what we experience.
Before embarking on my 25-day journey through South Korea, Japan, and Thailand, I did what most travelers do. I researched. I watched videos, read blogs, joined Facebook groups, and listened to the experiences of others.
Beyond transportation, cultural customs, and language barriers, one question lingered: How would I be received as a Black woman traveling through countries where relatively few people looked like me?
I encountered stories of Black travelers experiencing discrimination, uncomfortable stares, and microaggressions. Others shared wonderful experiences of hospitality and kindness. I consumed both, but wondered whether I had unknowingly allowed other people’s experiences to shape my expectations.
Had I begun fearing people and places I had never encountered?
Carrying More Than My Own Fears
But the stories I consumed weren’t the only source of my apprehension. There were also the reactions of loved ones and friends when I shared my travel plans. Some expressed their concerns openly, while others didn’t have to say much at all. I could see the worry in their facial expressions, hear it in their questions, and sense it in the words left unspoken.
Their concerns came from a place of love, but they also intensified my own anxieties. I was already nervous about traveling solo to unfamiliar countries, navigating language barriers, and being so far from home. Seeing the fear in the faces of people I trusted made me question whether I was overlooking something. Did they know something I didn’t? Was I being too adventurous, too trusting, or simply naive?
Looking back, I wonder how much of the fear I carried was actually mine and how much I had unknowingly inherited from others.
Sometimes the people who love us most, in their desire to protect us, can unintentionally make the world feel more frightening than it is.
The Stories I Didn’t Expect
From my first days in South Korea, I experienced unexpected kindness. A young man helped me locate my Uber pickup when I was tired and lost, two women showed me how to get water from a free water dispenser, and another stranger paid my bus fare when my transportation card failed.
The latter encounter felt like divine intervention. The man had missed his own bus, boarded mine, and happened to be standing behind me when my card wouldn’t work. He paid my fare and got off just two stops later, less than a ten-minute walk away. What were the odds?
Then came Japan, where my already questionable sense of direction was truly tested. On my first night in Tokyo, after a long travel day that included a damaged suitcase and other frustrations, I found myself lost while exploring Ariake. A woman from India noticed my confusion and offered to walk with me to the nearest train station. She stayed until I received clear directions to my hotel.
A few days later, while trying to reach Meiji Jingu, I misunderstood Google Maps, walked far out of my way, and retraced my steps. Just as I was ready to give up, a former New Yorker noticed my struggle and walked me to the entrance.
I began to wonder whether God was placing people along my path precisely when I needed them.
Of course, not every encounter was pleasant.
In Bangkok, I found myself pressured into purchasing a boat ride while trying to reach my first destination. That’s another story. Anyway, I ended up arriving late for my tour, frustrated and upset. Yet my guide, Jackson, patiently waited and turned what could have been a disappointing day into a wonderful private tour experience.
The dishonesty of one person did not erase the kindness of another.
There were also the women selling goods who admired my skin color and facial features, and the women at a hanbok shop in Korea who repeatedly told me how pretty I was.
Why did their compliments surprise me? I know I’m pretty, and I’ve been told so throughout my life! Perhaps it was because I had arrived expecting my appearance to make me stand out in uncomfortable ways, only to find people openly admiring the very features I had worried might make me feel different.
In fact, one seller was so generous with her compliments that I ended up buying socks I didn’t even need! Apparently, flattery can be an effective sales strategy, and I was a willing customer. I walked away with a few extra pairs of socks and a good laugh.
But beyond the humor, these encounters made me question whether I had unknowingly allowed the stories I consumed to influence how I expected others to see me.
The Fears We Carry From Home
As I traveled, I began asking myself another question: How much of my apprehension was rooted in the countries I was visiting, and how much had I carried with me from America?
Living in the United States, race is often inseparable from our experiences. We learn to recognize certain behaviors, question interactions, and sometimes anticipate how we might be treated before entering a room.
Those instincts don’t simply disappear when we board an airplane.
Yet, I began recognizing the difference between being aware of potential discrimination and expecting it.
I don’t want to dismiss the experiences of travelers who have faced racism abroad. Their stories matter. But I also don’t want fear to become the only story we tell.
Allowing the World to Surprise Us
Throughout my journey, I encountered people whose cultures, languages, and beliefs differed from mine. Some experiences challenged me, others encouraged me, and many reminded me how much there is to learn about the world.
As a Christian, I believe every person is created in the image of God. That conviction challenges me to see people as individuals rather than representatives of a country, culture, or religion. It also challenges me to examine my own assumptions.
I also believe that every place I visited is part of God’s creation. Although these lands are inhabited by people of different races, cultures, languages, and religious beliefs, they are all part of the same earth that God created. No country, culture, or group of people has exclusive claim to His creation. The same God who created the land I call home also created the mountains, rivers, oceans, and landscapes I traveled thousands of miles to see.
And if I believe that God created the entire earth and everyone in it, shouldn’t I approach unfamiliar places and people with curiosity, humility, and love rather than fear?
Twenty-five days across three countries did not make me an expert on their people, cultures, or lands. But the journey gave me a new perspective.
I learned that preparation is important, but so is openness. Other people’s experiences can inform us without defining our own. And sometimes, the most memorable moments come from strangers whose names we never learn.
I returned home remembering the people who helped me, the people who challenged me, and the unexpected kindness I encountered along the way.
Go Anyway
We leave home carrying stories about the world, but sometimes we must be willing to let the world tell us a different one.
So, if you’ve been dreaming of visiting a place but fear has been holding you back, go! Do your research, plan wisely, take the necessary precautions, but don’t let fear or someone else’s experience determine yours. Give yourself the opportunity to explore, discover, and form your own stories.
The world is far too beautiful to experience only through the fears of others.
